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Showing posts from April, 2020

A Brief Moment of Vulnerability

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My life is a complete 180° from where it was a year ago. A year ago, my long-term live in relationship imploded/exploded and resulted in police action and me having to move within a month. Which I believe I’ve touched on before. What I didn’t touch on is how Important and essential Community is when you are struggling.This last year has been a year of complete and total change for me. From the inside out. When January began, I had a New Years that I don’t quite remember, but nonetheless ended up being incredibly eye-opening into seeing how far my then-current patterns and behaviours had taken me from my intended path.As an unexpected benefit of my “domestic violence” call to the police, (that’s still a strange phrase to be associated with), I was privileged enough to be able to have access to weekly therapy. Which I have gone to consistently. Without therapy I would not have been able to begin the process of unraveling and unpeeling a lot of the damage done in my last relationship - i…

The Next Doorway - Originally written... awhile ago

Early August

I'm sitting at the train station waiting on the train that will take me to Connecticut. My Initiation into the Priestesshood will be held there. At first, I felt like it was a given that my partner (not the person I began this journey with - for good reason) would be there. But the last 12 hours have called that into question. He kissed me goodbye and he sent me off with some wisdom: "be strong, and rise." 

I'm alone. With myself. And my books. But not my real books. My Kindle type books. And I am anxious. I wasn't feeling very anxious the last few days, but now - very much so. I'm now in Connecticut. A former covenmate/good friend met me at the station and I'm settling into my hotel room. It's on the first floor and there is a door that opens up to the outside. So I've got the glass open and the screen closed. Gorgeous breeze. I'm a bit calmer but still anxious. I don't do well with time to myself. I had to take a Benedryl so …

Taking the Time to Breathe

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This is a time of incredible uncertainty and fear for all of us - regardless of our situation. When we emerge, whether that’s in 3 months or 6, or longer - our world will be different. Not necessarily worse - just different. We will hopefully take less for granted, and be a bit more appreciative of the good things that we DO have in this world. If you’re struggling with this time, know that you’re not alone. I wake up most days, wondering what new news will come down the pipe. Wondering if someone I love will become sick. But I also wake up with an appreciation - I’m awake. Focus on what you DO have. Take the time right now to develop your practice, if you have one. If you don’t and always wanted one - begin. Clean out that junk drawer in the kitchen that you continually shove things into. Read that book that you “keep meaning to.” Watch that “guilty pleasure” TV show. We may never get this type of opportunity again. There is no time like the present. Also - if all you can manage some…