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Pay Attention to This One

When You Feel You're Off Course

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My fiance and I recently went public with our engagement (May 1). And we could NOT be more thankful and grateful for the love and support that people are showing us.

And that had me thinking about - "How did I get here?" In the last 8 years, I've moved in the winter (twice) after being kicked out of long-term cohabitation situations. I've recovered (mostly) from the effects of two car horrific accidents that caused permanent damage, serious abdominal surgery, and the mental toil/toll of getting out of two long-term emotionally/mentally abusive relationships. I also managed to get my Masters degree while working full time (sometimes two and three jobs) and completed a 4 year structured Votary program in my Witchcraft/Pagan tradition that included uncomfortable self-examination, rigorous academic study, community service, and a lot of hard work... among other things.
I have a friend who is going through an unimaginably tough time right now and they asked me, "How d…

Invocation to Hekate for Change

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I debated posting this as the current revolutionary actions, aren't about me. As a white woman, right now, my job is to speak up when it would be helpful to BIPOC, but for the most part - listen and shut up. 

But if someone can use this and it would be helpful - take it, use it, and be well.

Hekate, Propylaia - During this time of Decision
We stand before Your Gate. The choice is ours.
It must be made for each individual.
Hekate, Propolos - The Guide who goes before,
Lead us as Dadaphoros into the Light of True Equality
Hekate, Rixipyle - Breaker of the Gate - Tear Down the Man Made Barriers that continue to keep BlPOC people subjugated and unable to simply live their lives to their fullest potential.
Hekate, Phosphorus - Bring your Light to the Darkness of Police Brutality and Institutional Racism. Let no one hide from the luminous blaze of Your Torches.
Kleidoukhos - Keeper of the Keys
Unlock our knowledge to do better within ourselves.
Reveal our shadows so that we may c…

A Brief Moment of Vulnerability

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My life is a complete 180° from where it was a year ago. A year ago, my long-term live in relationship imploded/exploded and resulted in police action and me having to move within a month. Which I believe I’ve touched on before. What I didn’t touch on is how Important and essential Community is when you are struggling.This last year has been a year of complete and total change for me. From the inside out. When January began, I had a New Years that I don’t quite remember, but nonetheless ended up being incredibly eye-opening into seeing how far my then-current patterns and behaviours had taken me from my intended path.As an unexpected benefit of my “domestic violence” call to the police, (that’s still a strange phrase to be associated with), I was privileged enough to be able to have access to weekly therapy. Which I have gone to consistently. Without therapy I would not have been able to begin the process of unraveling and unpeeling a lot of the damage done in my last relationship - i…

The Next Doorway - Originally written... awhile ago

Early August

I'm sitting at the train station waiting on the train that will take me to Connecticut. My Initiation into the Priestesshood will be held there. At first, I felt like it was a given that my partner (not the person I began this journey with - for good reason) would be there. But the last 12 hours have called that into question. He kissed me goodbye and he sent me off with some wisdom: "be strong, and rise." 

I'm alone. With myself. And my books. But not my real books. My Kindle type books. And I am anxious. I wasn't feeling very anxious the last few days, but now - very much so. I'm now in Connecticut. A former covenmate/good friend met me at the station and I'm settling into my hotel room. It's on the first floor and there is a door that opens up to the outside. So I've got the glass open and the screen closed. Gorgeous breeze. I'm a bit calmer but still anxious. I don't do well with time to myself. I had to take a Benedryl so …

Taking the Time to Breathe

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This is a time of incredible uncertainty and fear for all of us - regardless of our situation. When we emerge, whether that’s in 3 months or 6, or longer - our world will be different. Not necessarily worse - just different. We will hopefully take less for granted, and be a bit more appreciative of the good things that we DO have in this world. If you’re struggling with this time, know that you’re not alone. I wake up most days, wondering what new news will come down the pipe. Wondering if someone I love will become sick. But I also wake up with an appreciation - I’m awake. Focus on what you DO have. Take the time right now to develop your practice, if you have one. If you don’t and always wanted one - begin. Clean out that junk drawer in the kitchen that you continually shove things into. Read that book that you “keep meaning to.” Watch that “guilty pleasure” TV show. We may never get this type of opportunity again. There is no time like the present. Also - if all you can manage some…

Chop Wood - Carry Water

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This post was originally began in October 2018. Life happened. You’re getting it now.
A friend posted recently about "Before enlightenment, chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment, chop wood, carry water." And it got me thinking. The original quote refers to being in the moment and that even if we're spiritual/religious people - there are still mundane chores that need to be done. We don't have the luxury of eschewing the rent being paid, or the electric, or the water bill. While we are inherently spiritual beings, the majority of our time is taken up by mundane activities. For me: it's grading. So many papers. And creating lesson plans and assignments. And while I wouldn't trade my calling for anything, it does take up a lot of time. There is a way to make this work to our advantage.
As much as the drudgery of our normal lives can intrude - we can't have that wonderful personal home ritual if there is gross garbage sitting 2 feet away. These acts …

Previously on Buffy the... wait... wrong show

A quick recap of how my life has evolved since I began this blog:
- I was about 6 months into my last year of Votary training, almost finished, but still working - All goes as planned I'll be Ordained in August.
- I had just started one of two part time teaching jobs that made up almost a full time job - No benies anywhere. Now I'm full time at one place that values me, but still no benies.
- My long-term time, short term cohabitating relationship was im/exploding. It took a total left turn in January and now I live somewhere else. And he is hopefully reaping what was sown.
- During this relationship I had developed some crappy coping mechanisms. I'm working on those. Mostly of the good though.
- I'm back to teaching and writing Witch classes again. I'm excited to get back in the fray. Keep an eye on this space.
- Getting a computer - mine crapped out about November. So... hello more access to blogging. All I can say is: the Gods do the Work they do. And they h…