Enodia of the Keys

I wrote this before our Sacred Space trip, but in my distracted brain I forgot to post it. The sentiment still stands - take your leaps and take your chances. +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Husband and I have been going through a period of metamorphosis. We're moving homes to a place (still in NYC) that is better suited for us and the process has been... evocative. It isn't our planned final domicile, but it is home for the next few years while we both tie up some loose ends.  With this switch, we've been afforded quite a bit of opportunity. And sometimes - that's intimidating. I've noticed that we sometimes have this loop in our minds - "oh, I can't do X because I don't have (insert lack here - time/money/space)." And we tell ourselves these "excuses" to give ourselves a "reason" not to make changes for the better.  This shift in home is the start of many opportunities for ...

First I would like to express my sincere and profound gratitude to the Board Members of Sacred Space. Thank you for all of the unpaid and difficult work that you do - each and every year. The community that you have built is incomparable and an inspiration to all. Moving into a new space is not without its challenges, and managing presenters' issues and you all handled them all with grace and aplomb. Thank you.  Gathering Courage After watching my amazing husband present these last few years, I had the desire to teach at the Conference and be of service as well. That little voice in my head though, "these people are all "Big Names," they have reputations and books and scads of other qualities that you don't have. You don't measure up."    Last year at SSC, I had the pleasure of supporting my HPS, Courtney Weber, in her classes, including the one that she taught on Hekate. During one of our chats, I had been musing how I'd love to teach there ...

Full disclosure - daily practice has always been something that I have struggled with. I go through periods of intense structured devotion, and then things loosen up and then life happens, the practice becomes hodgepodge and the cycle begins again.   When I was younger - I thought this made me "bad Pagan." I thought that it had some sort of bearing on my love, reverence and devotion that I have to the Theoi. It doesn't.   In my opinion - your devotion does not have to be something set. It doesn't have to be something that you do every day at a certain time - thought that does have tangible benefits to developing a relationship with your chosen Deities.  As long as you carry the love of the Gods, their principles, and act in the ways befitting someone of your faith - then you're showing your devotion.  That being said - the summer vacation (I teach in my mundane life) has allowed me to develop a set practice with the free(r) time that I have. I look for...

My life is a complete 180° from where it was a year ago. A year ago, my long-term live in relationship imploded/exploded and resulted in police action and me having to move within a month. Which I believe I’ve touched on before. What I didn’t touch on is how Important and essential Community is when you are struggling. This last year has been a year of complete and total change for me. From the inside out. When January began, I had a New Years that I don’t quite remember, but nonetheless ended up being incredibly eye-opening into seeing how far my then-current patterns and behaviours had taken me from my intended path. As an unexpected benefit of my “domestic violence” call to the police, (that’s still a strange phrase to be associated with), I was privileged enough to be able to have access to weekly therapy. Which I have gone to consistently. Without therapy I would not have been able to begin the process of unraveling and unpeeling a lot of the damage done in my last relati...

Early August I'm sitting at the train station waiting on the train that will take me to Connecticut. My Initiation into the Priestesshood will be held there. At first, I felt like it was a given that my partner (not the person I began this journey with - for good reason) would be there. But the last 12 hours have called that into question. He kissed me goodbye and he sent me off with some wisdom: "be strong, and rise."  I'm alone. With myself. And my books. But not my real books. My Kindle type books. And I am anxious. I wasn't feeling very anxious the last few days, but now - very much so. I'm now in Connecticut. A former covenmate/good friend met me at the station and I'm settling into my hotel room. It's on the first floor and there is a door that opens up to the outside. So I've got the glass open and the screen closed. Gorgeous breeze. I'm a bit calmer but still anxious. I don't do well with time to myself. I had to take a Benedry...

This post was originally began in October 2018. Life happened. You’re getting it now. A friend posted recently about "Before enlightenment, chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment, chop wood, carry water." And it got me thinking. The original quote refers to being in the moment and that even if we're spiritual/religious people - there are still mundane chores that need to be done. We don't have the luxury of eschewing the rent being paid, or the electric, or the water bill. While we are inherently spiritual beings, the majority of our time is taken up by mundane activities. For me: it's grading. So many papers. And creating lesson plans and assignments. And while I wouldn't trade my calling for anything, it does take up a lot of time. There is a way to make this work to our advantage. As much as the drudgery of our normal lives can intrude - we can't have that wonderful personal home ritual if there is gross garbage sitting 2 feet away. T...

I've been fairly sick with this bad cold that's been going around. I stopped off at my local to have a Hot Toddy before heading home to relax and get some sleep. Always a wonderful conversation with the owner, another gentleman came in and we started to chat. He was a few years old than I am, married, and also an ESL teacher, though he'd gone into the JET program. We had some really interesting conversation regarding socio-economic status (he was born and raised in Miami) and how the perception of where you were brought up - it can have a direct impact on how you're received/perceived as an adult. But to the point - we were discussing our significant others and he asked if I had any children. I told him no. He asked if I wanted any. I told him not really, but I likely couldn't have them anyway. He got quiet and said: "my wife and I went through IVF three times. It didn't work". I looked at him and said: "I'm sorry. I cannot imagi...