Enodia of the Keys

My life is a complete 180° from where it was a year ago. A year ago, my long-term live in relationship imploded/exploded and resulted in police action and me having to move within a month. Which I believe I’ve touched on before. What I didn’t touch on is how Important and essential Community is when you are struggling. This last year has been a year of complete and total change for me. From the inside out. When January began, I had a New Years that I don’t quite remember, but nonetheless ended up being incredibly eye-opening into seeing how far my then-current patterns and behaviours had taken me from my intended path. As an unexpected benefit of my “domestic violence” call to the police, (that’s still a strange phrase to be associated with), I was privileged enough to be able to have access to weekly therapy. Which I have gone to consistently. Without therapy I would not have been able to begin the process of unraveling and unpeeling a lot of the damage done in my last relati...

Early August I'm sitting at the train station waiting on the train that will take me to Connecticut. My Initiation into the Priestesshood will be held there. At first, I felt like it was a given that my partner (not the person I began this journey with - for good reason) would be there. But the last 12 hours have called that into question. He kissed me goodbye and he sent me off with some wisdom: "be strong, and rise."  I'm alone. With myself. And my books. But not my real books. My Kindle type books. And I am anxious. I wasn't feeling very anxious the last few days, but now - very much so. I'm now in Connecticut. A former covenmate/good friend met me at the station and I'm settling into my hotel room. It's on the first floor and there is a door that opens up to the outside. So I've got the glass open and the screen closed. Gorgeous breeze. I'm a bit calmer but still anxious. I don't do well with time to myself. I had to take a Benedry...

I’m sure we’re all in different places right now. Some of us are unemployed, wondering when we may be FINALLY able to get through to the UI system (which in many states, is running on COBOL, REALLY?!); some of us are on the front lines in the emergency services and medical fields (which should be more appreciated and paid better than it is), and some of us are unable to stay home and protect ourselves because of their employers or our stores are considered “essential.” And unfortunately, some of us are grieving: mourning the loss of loved ones, either from COVID-19 or other unfortunate circumstances. I see you, I hear you. I cannot imagine the grief and pain that you’re going through, unable to mourn in the traditional ways. Know though, that your honored and loved Dead will be okay. Truly. If (the) God/s are all mighty - then certainly they must have provisions in place for this as well. This is a time of incredible uncertainty and fear for all of us - regardless of our situation. W...

This post was originally began in October 2018. Life happened. You’re getting it now. A friend posted recently about "Before enlightenment, chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment, chop wood, carry water." And it got me thinking. The original quote refers to being in the moment and that even if we're spiritual/religious people - there are still mundane chores that need to be done. We don't have the luxury of eschewing the rent being paid, or the electric, or the water bill. While we are inherently spiritual beings, the majority of our time is taken up by mundane activities. For me: it's grading. So many papers. And creating lesson plans and assignments. And while I wouldn't trade my calling for anything, it does take up a lot of time. There is a way to make this work to our advantage. As much as the drudgery of our normal lives can intrude - we can't have that wonderful personal home ritual if there is gross garbage sitting 2 feet away. T...

A quick recap of how my life has evolved since I began this blog: - I was about 6 months into my last year of Votary training, almost finished, but still working - All goes as planned I'll be Ordained in August. - I had just started one of two part time teaching jobs that made up almost a full time job - No benies anywhere. Now I'm full time at one place that values me, but still no benies. - My long-term time, short term cohabitating relationship was im/exploding. It took a total left turn in January and now I live somewhere else. And he is hopefully reaping what was sown. - During this relationship I had developed some crappy coping mechanisms. I'm working on those. Mostly of the good though. - I'm back to teaching and writing Witch classes again. I'm excited to get back in the fray. Keep an eye on this space. - Getting a computer - mine crapped out about November. So... hello more access to blogging. All I can say is: the Gods do the Work they do. And the...

It's a Waxing Moon. Many MANY things have evolved since I began this blog. I'm sorry that it has taken me this long to get back into it. Keep an eye out for my next post - you won't want to miss all the details!  -Enodia

I've been fairly sick with this bad cold that's been going around. I stopped off at my local to have a Hot Toddy before heading home to relax and get some sleep. Always a wonderful conversation with the owner, another gentleman came in and we started to chat. He was a few years old than I am, married, and also an ESL teacher, though he'd gone into the JET program. We had some really interesting conversation regarding socio-economic status (he was born and raised in Miami) and how the perception of where you were brought up - it can have a direct impact on how you're received/perceived as an adult. But to the point - we were discussing our significant others and he asked if I had any children. I told him no. He asked if I wanted any. I told him not really, but I likely couldn't have them anyway. He got quiet and said: "my wife and I went through IVF three times. It didn't work". I looked at him and said: "I'm sorry. I cannot imagi...